


That's The Tea

by Wonko



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Imagine Your OTeaP, Social Media, Tea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonko/pseuds/Wonko
Summary: When Bernie Wolfe returns from Mogadishu, battered, bruised, and in need of a new career, her daughter Charlotte offers to make her Social Media Manager for her company selling boutique teas. Bernie doesn't think she'll be any good at it, but she surprises herself by enjoying her new job quite a bit. Until the day a Twitter mob descends on the humble account of @ThatsTheTea.
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 9
Kudos: 54
Collections: Berena Secret Santa 2020





	That's The Tea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tebarambles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tebarambles/gifts).



> I realise now that this effort is not really a great fit for the prompts I was given - "a surprise Christmas visitor" and "(fr)enemies to lovers." Luckily there was a third choice - "different first meeting."
> 
> Well. It certainly is that.
> 
> Somewhat inspired by real life events, when Yorkshire Tea endured a twitter storm after Rishi Sunak tweeted a picture of himself making a brew using their teabags.

Safe to say, this wasn’t the kind of job Bernie thought she’d be doing after finally admitting defeat and retiring from the army after her second round with an explosive device and flirtation with limb loss and/or paralysis. The first, in Afghanistan, had heralded the end of her marriage when she’d insisted on going back into the fray. The second, in Mogadishu, had come close to costing her life.

So, she had come home, battered and broken, minus the lover she’d left her husband and returned to Army life to be with, but with the addition of a metal plate in her leg and a year of physical therapy to look forward to.

“I have a little proposition for you,” her daughter Charlotte said, after Bernie had been back in the country for a month, going stir crazy in her flat. “Our little company is starting to develop a presence online, and we need someone to run our social media accounts.”

“Oh.” Bernie wrinkled her nose. “Uhm...don’t you need someone...well, someone a bit…”

“What?”

“Young?”

Charlotte laughed. “Oh mum, it’s not rocket science,” she said, and proceeded to lay out exactly what would be involved in the job.

Charlotte’s company was a small, independent business that worked in joint enterprise with tea growers throughout India to produce various blends of what Charlotte called “boutique” teas. Bernie was more of a supermarket teabag, squeezed within an inch of its life kind of girl - or, better yet, a black coffee and a cigarette kind of girl.

“So, we’re trying to develop our brand, yeah?” Charlotte was saying, after a speech full of words like ‘engagement’ and ‘metrics’ and ‘analytics’. “The main thing you’d be doing would be sending tweets - whatever you want really. You know, food for thought stuff, words of wisdom, things to get people talking. And then you use the hashtag #ThatsTheTea. It’s sort of a pun on the name of the brand. Get it?”

Bernie smiled weakly. “Uhm…”

Charlotte whipped out her phone and pecked away at it for a few moments. “Here,” she said, suddenly handing it to Bernie. “Have a go.”

Bernie stared at the phone, her mind somehow both racing and blank at the same time. She glanced up at Charlotte’s encouraging expression and sighed. She wasn’t going to get out of this without at least making an attempt.

_Ever been dealt an unexpected hand? Don’t worry. Even a high card can be a winning hand if you bluff well enough. #ThatsTheTea_

She handed the phone back to Charlotte, who beamed.

It was definitely the strangest job she’d ever had. But, she needed something to keep her mind occupied, and she needed to be able to work from home. Plus, from the company’s point of view, she was cheap.

Which was, long story short, how she became Bernie Wolfe - Social Media Manager. Not that she was about to have any business cards made up, because she was pretty sure that whatever explosion of pity that had moved Charlotte to offer her the job would wear out when she was inevitably revealed to be crap at it.

But, as it turned out, she wasn’t crap at it. Somehow, her dry sense of humour translated well to the medium of Twitter, and Charlotte sounded increasingly pleased every time she called with news about “engagement”, “ratios”, and “virality.”

Before long, she even attracted the attention of some giants of the industry.

Holby Blend was a grandee of the tea world. Founded in 1804, it had been a Royal Warrant holder since the 1930s and currently held a 53% market share in the UK. Its 1970s adverts featuring a family of turtles were classics, beloved by generations of tea slurping Brits. They were, in a word, massive, so it was a bit of a surprise when their blue-tick corporate Twitter account quote tweeted one of Bernie’s posts with a bit of what Bernie understood the kids called “banter.”

“Should I reply to this?” Bernie asked Charlotte when she called for one of their now frequent catch ups.

“Oh my god mum, yes,” was Charlotte’s immediate reply. “People love it when brands do a bit of back and forth together. That’s probably why they’ve tweeted at you. And anyway, it’s good publicity.”

So Bernie had a go, and they ended up with a little thread of replies that poked gentle fun at each other. The exchange ended up being covered as if it were news by Buzzfeed, the Metro and the online editions of various other tabloids. Charlotte reported a small uptick in sales. All in all, it was a satisfactory but easily forgotten encounter.

***

The day began much like any other. Out of bed by 7.30, then exercises to stretch her leg and back, followed by breakfast. Then it was time to log on to her work phone and make a start on the day's tweets. She normally had to respond to one or two messages or queries that had come in overnight: nothing too onerous. They were a small company, after all. So, when she saw the little blue icon informing her she had over 5000 notifications, she had to blink a few times to be sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“What the…” she muttered as she opened the app.

_I’ll never touch @ThatsTheTea ever again! Disgusting!_

_It’s @HolbyBlend for me from now on. #ThatsTheTea_

_I thought you were supposed to be an ethical company @ThatsTheTea_

Frown deepening, Bernie scrolled through the tweets. It was difficult to tell what exactly they were angry about - none of them mentioned whatever their grievance was. It didn’t take long before the tweets started to get personal, with what felt like dozens of frothing strangers loudly shouting how much they wished she was dead.

“Charlotte,” Bernie said, after her daughter picked up on the first ring. “What the hell is going on?”

Charlotte sighed deeply. “You know John Gaskell?”

Of course Bernie knew John Gaskell. “Local Tory MP, health minister, biggest prick since King Kong’s dick?”

“That’s the one. Well, he tweeted about us last night, and people are really unhappy about it.”

Frowning, Bernie grabbed her still blowing up work phone and navigated to Gaskell’s twitter account. His most recent tweet was a photo of him holding a bag of That’s The Tea’s Breakfast Blend while smiling his signature sickly grin. The accompanying text read: “Just on my way to a cabinet meeting, but there’s always time for a cuppa. Our post-Brexit trade deal with India will be so sweet, you won’t even need sugar. And #ThatsTheTea.”

“He’s co-opted our hashtag!” BernIe exclaimed, her face flushing with anger. “And to post Brexit propaganda!”

“I know,” Charlotte replied, sighing again. “And now a pile-on’s happening.”

“But we can’t control what someone else tweets?”

“I know,” Charlotte said again. “Logic doesn’t really come into it though, mum. Just do your best to ride it out.”

Bernie’s first attempt to address the storm was a tweet.

_Fun fact: anyone can go into a shop and buy our tea. We don’t vet our customers, but that doesn’t mean we agree with all their views. And #ThatsTheTea_

Unfortunately, this just seemed to incense people even more.

_@ThatsTheTea What a mealy-mouthed non-apology!_

_@ThatsTheTea So you’re okay with free advertising from a swivel-eyed Brexit-loving lizard who wants to sell off the NHS???_

“No,” Bernie wanted to scream, “I’m not, actually. I think he’s a total dick.”

But Charlotte had made her promise not to. So the day rolled on and the whole thing snowballed ever more out of control. After the initial wave of outrage from one side, a corresponding flood of defenders began to crop up. Unfortunately, they were not the kind of people anyone would want on their side. Bernie clicked on a few of their profiles to find timelines full of pro-Brexit memes, racism and homophobia.

Just as she was beginning to sink into the depths of despair, her phone chimed to signal the arrival of a DM. Since she was set up to only be able to receive DMs from accounts she followed, she was reasonably sure it wasn’t more abuse, so she clicked on it.

It was from Holby Blend.

_Sorry about all this nonsense that’s happening to you today. It does blow over, I promise. - Serena x_

Somehow, knowing that such a massive company had even noticed what was going on in her corner of the internet that day made her feel slightly better.

 _Thanks,_ she replied. _Feeling a bit overwhelmed to be honest. I think people forget these accounts are run by actual human beings. - Bernie_

Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in her head. What if she could get people to remember that they were interacting with a person, not a corporation? Would that work?

It was worth a try.

 _When I first got this job, I must confess I found it quite odd. I’d never really used twitter before to be honest. I spent most of my working life in the armed forces, working in a peace-keeping role in various flashpoints around the world. Then, a few months ago, I got blown up._  
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_I was part of a unit attached to the RAMC, and we were defending a hospital in Mogadishu. I won’t go into gory details, but suffice it to say the events over there ended my Army career and led to me needing a job I could do from home while recuperating from my injuries._  
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_That’s where ThatsTheTea came in. I was offered a job running this twitter account. I didn’t think I’d be any good at it, but the company had faith in me and I ended up really enjoying the job. Until today._  
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_Because of something I had no control over whatsoever, I have been bombarded with messages, some of them simply angry, some of them threatening and abusive._  
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_I had no idea that the sight of someone they don’t like drinking the same brand of tea they enjoy could make someone so angry they would send death threats over it. I’ve been shot at, targeted by insurgents, and blown up by improvised explosive devices (twice.) But this is new._  
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_I am not a faceless company. I am a person, a real human being, who has to read the things you write. This is me._  
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_Remember, everyone you interact with online is a person with their own lives and stories, just like you. Think about that before you hit send. #ThatsTheTea_


End file.
